Tiny Iron Fists

Three Generations of Loud!

My 71 year old mom (she's proud of her age), my nearly 40 year old self, and newly minted 3-year-old Lulu age according to the Asian calendar. Love this family portrait-strip!

Little Scooter!

Surprise! Courtesy of Ba Ngoai for the Chinese Lunar New Year, Lulu received a Kickboard MiniKick today. And it's everything she ever wanted. We quickly scooted down to the beach so Lulu could take her new wheels for a test drive. And after hours of pushing around, she happily passed out at home.

No More Decals!

My friend Michelle recently uncovered this note from her mom. Following are Michelle's thoughts on her mom's sticker-free sage advice:

"When I got my first car (my mom's old car) I COVERED it in stickers. I found this note in my box of stickers (which I no longer put on my car) written on the back of... a sticker that I must have stuck somewhere. I guess her note worked!"

My siblings and I sticker-littered our first car, a Toyota Corolla, with our currently enrolled university stickers. I can't recall my parents ever telling us to quit it but I think we were too afraid to put anything but school-related paraphanalia on the family ride. Ahh, the power of parents. I guess they really do know best (at least from a four-wheeled aesthetically pleasing POV)!

Why You Waste Money!!!

I am so much like this old, frugal lady! Our friends still can't believe I made it through Lulu's first year buying her only one new t-shirt (she has very generous family and friends). Even my mom, who loves a bargain isn't this bad (well... sometimes... this is the same mom who calls me to tell me flank steak is $6.99/pound at Costco and that the next time she visits, she will fly out with flank steak for me so I don't have to pay $16.99/pound at Whole Foods). Hah. What can I say? I gift generously to others but at home, I like to keep it tight. 

I dig personalized gifts like homecooked dinners (I'm not a fan of tchotchkes though). Check out my post from last year's Mother's Day. It'll give you a better idea of what kind of gifts I think rock. For anyone with a FOB mom, I know you can totally appreciate this cartoon!

A Love Letter To My Mom

Hey Ma,

Thirty-six years ago, you put on a brave face and took this passport photo with your family. The portrait was taken for our refugee application as we prepared to flee Viet Nam. And Dad, an intelligence officer working with the CIA couldn't be in the portrait because he was busy fighting the war.

Now that I'm older with a kid of my own, the image means so much more to me. I imagine myself in your shoes and I wonder whether I could have been as strong as you were. Look at you! You are devastatingly elegant (I covet your Omega watch), looking poised as ever, alone with your five children ranging from two months old to five years old. At the time, you were an officer's wife. And a woman of privilege. What you do not show on your face is that you were about to lose your country, family, friends, and life as you knew it.

Weeks later we ended up in a refugee camp in Guam. There you patiently waited for dad. After weeks of scanning the arrivals boards, you were eventually reunited. We were put on a plane and flown to the States (France rejected us), where I was eventually raised in Arlington, Virginia.

Your name is Bach-Tuyet or white-snow in Vietnamese... it conjures up a beautiful and gentle image. But you are so much more than postcard pretty. You're incredibly fierce about your family. You are a loyal wife. A loving disciplinarian. An amazing chef (I've never seen anyone make decorative flowers out of radishes and carrots like you). A host that would shame Martha Stewart. A karaoke queen. You're technologically advanced among your peers (I firmly believe you helped start the mom-spam movement. I beg of you please, stop forwarding me emails with videos of four year olds who can play musical instruments amazingly well). A jokester. A social butterfly. An avid world traveler. Calmingly Buddhist. And a giver (I've never known you to be a taker). You are rock solid and a force to be reckoned with. This last trait is what I admire most about you.

On Mother's Day, I think about how I aspire to be anything like you. While some friends dread turning into their moms, I wish and hope that I can raise the family you did. And I pray Lulu will someday love me as much as I love you.

Ma, I am so lucky to have you still. Happy Mother's Day! It's an understatement to say I love you. And because I am a good Asian daughter, I Googled how to say it in Vietnamese too: Con yêu Mẹ! 

Love,

Con, Souris

Happy Mother's Day!

 

It's Mother's Day! Have you planned something special for the very important mom(s) in your life?! I'm normally not a fan of Hallmark holidays, but seeing as this is the first mother's day I will actually be a part of, I asked a few mom-friends what gifts they've received in years past, that cost a little but meant a lot to receive. My friends are all so lucky to have such thoughtful loved ones! Any of the following ideas would make a wonderful gift. If you're reading this now, searching for something special to give, you might just be in luck!

1. Make your mom a lovely meal! The way to anyone's heart is through their stomach. My mom, an amazing chef remembers, "The greatest present on Mother's Day for me, is the day that Kelly came home and cooked everything for me and a couple of my friends. She went to the Farmers Market very early in the morning and made a nice dinner setting with flowers and great food. She did everything! I still remember her saying to me, "You already cooked 364 days, but today I will do it." This dinner made my mom very, very happy and was a joy for my sister to do. And if you've ever had my sister's food, you'd understand how great a present this was!

2. Have a good tickle! I really love the sound of Lulu's laughter. And I'm sure other moms would agree that a child's laughter is truly one of the greatest sounds ever. Inspirational mom, Sunshine says, "I remember Gracie Cash giving me a tickle session which was so relaxing as she lightly tickled my back. That didn't cost a dime and we really enjoy tickling each others backs or forearms every now and again." When was the last time someone struck your funny bone? Go ahead and burst that smile!

3. Build a beautiful garden and reap the rewards all year round. My aunt Lori recalled a Mother's Day where she received a raised garden bed from my uncle Mike. What's not to love about life in bloom? For everyone's enjoyment, planning ahead on this one is a must! A garden bed is the gift that keeps on giving!

4. Get crafty! Kick ass mom, Reggie hangs her daughter Nova's portrait (as seen above) on her "wall of inspiration" at work. She says, "my daughter gave me this "fashion portrait"... She likes working with fabrics and notions and it is her own little interpretation of me. Nevermind that it looks nothing like me, it is the thought that always counts." Handmade gifts are the ones that mean the most so teaching your family that buttons, rocks, yarn, and other every day objects can turn into something very special with a little glue and a lot of love!

Smiles and hugs are free too. That's what I'm giving my mom pals today. I'm interested to know what made-with-love gifts you received this Mother's Day. In the meantime, hey moms, go ahead and relax like crazy!

Mom's The Word!

My friends know how much I love my family. And especially how much I love my parents. I always tell my friends, "I don't love my parents, I'm in love with my parents!" It's true, I mafia-love my mom and dad. I saw their struggle first hand, raising five kids in a foreign country and I have real mad respect for everything they ever did for us, so that we could have the privileged (but earned) lives we live today.

I'm aspiring to be half the parent my mom and dad are. If I can raise Lulu the way they raised us, then I win. And more importantly, she wins. She'll grow up confident, not afraid to fail, and go through life with a sense of adventure. I'm going to try to parent based on my own personal experiences and hope I don't mess up the kid too much! 

I'm dedicating a category for Tiny Iron Fists to my mom called, "My Mom" because she's a hilarious, wise, psuedo witch doctor, hostess with the mostest, chef, mother, and wife and she has really awesome techniques worth learning for raising children.* I don't take all her advice and sometimes I don't even want to hear it, but in the end, moms know best. They've been there and done that. And I'll give my mom cred/props when it's due.

To kick off this new category. I will share a phone manners technique my mom used while we were 1980s phone hogs:

RING, RING (telephone ringing).

My Mom: Hello?

Friend: Is Souris there?

My Mom: Yes.

PAUSE.

PAUSE some more.

Friend: Silent. Not sure what to do.

My Mom: Hangs up the phone.

As teenagers we were kind of mortified when my mom did this. But she insisted, she had answered the question and that nothing else was asked. To pre-empt such future embarrassments from happening, we'd actually tell our friends to be polite and use the words, "May I please speak to _______" should my parents answer the phone. And you know what? They did! Every kid that ever called our house had impeccable phone manners. At least when they dialed our number. And our phone rang a lot.

There are many non-traditional parenting examples I learned from my mom (and dad) and I cannot wait to share them with you. I hope some of the techniques will be helpful to you (someday) too.

*My dad was very hands-on raising us too. There's no way my mom could've kept five kids in line without his help. But for simplicity's sake, I'll call my parents teamwork, "My Mom" since she was number one bad cop.

Baby's First (Month) Birthday!

It is customary in Vietnamese culture to celebrate a baby's first month birthday. Fortunately for Lulu, her grandparents were present to help commemorate the milestone. I asked my mom what exactly the celebration was for and she explained that we were to give offerings to a "fairy" to watch over Lulu. Apparently, this fairy would protect Lulu and teach her how to smile and do other baby-things. I'm not really sure why we lit a candle, but my mom insisted that we do that too.

After the first month anniversary celebration, friends and family were invited to meet Lulu and to offer her a happy, healthy, and prosperous life. She received a few red envelopes (li xi) with cash-gifts. And as with most Vietnamese celebrations, we ate a lot during and after the event.

Traditionally, the Vietnamese only observe a child's one-month and one year birthdays and that anything after is not really celebrated. Good thing for Lulu, we'll adopt Western birthday traditions for her! Until the next party (one year milestone), thank you, fairy godmother!

Hello!

Welcome to Tiny Iron Fists. My name is Souris. I love my family, food, art, travel, technology, and community. Prior to this little corner of the internet, I was Vice President of Interactive Media for an LA-based strategic consulting agency. I've been blogging about art and culture at Hustler of Culture since 2003. 

Tiny Iron Fists is a journal about life with our first benevolent dictator, Lulu. It's meant to be a resource for pregnant friends and (new) parents. I hope you'll enjoy the tips, interviews, anecdotes, and product reviews I write about. 

My posse nicknamed me "Tiny Iron Fists" because I once ruled our scene. Then I had a kid and now someone tinier than me, rules my world! How about that?! 

Thanks for dropping by, I can also be found on Twitter. Feel free to email me at tinyironfists [at] gmail.com. 

Lastly, I know you are probably wondering, who made my ridiculously cute banner? Why, my good, funny, and single friend, Slabco Steve did! You can find him online here, here, and here.